More Than One-Way to Skin a Vault

A key to keeping player's interest is to provide unique and unusual situations. The party fights its way through a horde of creatures. Victorious, the party searches for treasure. They find the entrance to a vault. At this point, the party says, "We take everything of value from the vault." The party is now ready to move on. After a while, this gets somewhat boring for both the players and the DM.

Consider this slightly different scenario. The party finds the entrance to a vault. In front of the vault is a pile of the dry, desiccated bodies of a previous group of adventurers. As a last act, one of previous group wrote in their own blood, "Death is waiting behind the door." One way to make the scenario even more interesting is to include a scroll of Speak with Dead among the effects of the dead adventurers.

Clive Barker wrote a short story called "The Inhuman Condition". The plot involves a rope with three knots. Untying a knot unleashes a supernatural beast. A big knot of string holds the vault door closed instead of a complex lock. Scrawled in dried blood is "Don't untie the knot!" The party is now faced the same problem as Alexander the Great when the Phrygians presented him Gordian knot.

When the party opens the vault, the find only a dark green beret monogrammed with the name Julian, a single copper coin, and a note. Written with fine calligraphy the note says, "I left a coin for your trouble."

The image is from a bank vault in Oklahoma after a tornado hit. Twenty-two people survived because they hid in the bank vault. No disrespect is intended for those affected by the tornado.

Total Party Kill as a Player Character

A few years ago, I was playing a fighter in a moderately high-level campaign. I cannot remember how I offended the player with the wizard character. I did something. The player decided to kill my character. In the middle of battle, the wizard would cast a spell at my fighter instead of the creatures we were fighting. This happened repeatedly. I decided to get even.

As a high-level fighter, I asked the DM if I could create a small army of followers. I organized them as a company of soldiers. In the campaign, they would not have stood a chance against the creatures we were battling. The rest of the party thought I was being a little weird having a small army.

We started a new quest. The party marched off to explore some ancient ruin. My army followed. Just before the party entered the ruin, I briefed my troops. I handed the commander several bags of gold and some gems. I instructed the troop to start building fortifications to engage the party when we returned.

The adventure took several weeks of game time. I coordinated with the DM on how my troops were doing building the fortifications. The troops created a killing zone around the entrance to the ruin. They dug sixty-foot deep pits all around the exit filling them with spikes. The built up several berms with fighting positions. The troops built four very large ballista. The steel tipped ballista bolts were six-inches in diameter. The troops carefully aimed the ballista at the exit. They built a large trebuchet with a basket filled with barrels of oil. Everything was in place.

The wizard tried to kill my fighter twice during the adventure. My fighter barely survived. As we returned I told the party I would run ahead to check for any problems. I exited the ruin and told the troops to get ready for action. I ran back to the party. I told the party the path was clear ahead. I walked with the party to the exit. I opened the door. Shouted "Fire", and jumped down into one of the sixty-foot deep pits with spikes.

The first ballista bolt hit the wizard square in the chest killing her instantly. The following bolts slaughtered the party. The DM rolled for the trebuchet hit. It was a critical fumble. Instead of hitting the entrance, the barrels of flaming oil landed short, straight down into the pit with my character. My fighter was tough. Falling sixty feet onto spikes was just a scratch. The thirty dice of damage from the barrels of flaming oil did my character in.

That was my pyrrhic victory over the wizard. A group of low-level followers slaughtered the entire party without taking a single hit point of damage. That was my total party kill as a player character.

A Stair Creaked, and a Squeaky Mouse Scurried Noisily Through the Wall

The title is a line from the story The Monkey's Paw by W. W. Jacobs. A band of adventurers enters the old ruined castle. They find a staircase leading down. They found the entrance to the dungeon. As they carefully go down the stairs, one of the steps creaks.

Creaking steps are common in old buildings. The party investigates the creaking step. They find a hole in the wood. When they look into the hole, they see several pairs of eyes looking back at them. The party rips up the stairs. They find a nest of mice living inside the staircase. The mice have torn open a rag doll and used the stuffing as their nest. The rag doll is in tatters. In the doll's hair is made of yarn. An ancient ornate ivory hairpin holds the last dirty strands of yarn to the dolls tattered head. Carved into the hairpin is the name, "Lorinda".

Adding the details to the simple act of going down the steps adds suspense, a sense of danger, and intrigue. Who was Lorinda? Killing a few mice will not provide much experience. The name Lorinda could be the start of an entirely new quest.

Staircases should be another place to add interesting things. In the movie Blade Runner, Gaff leaves small origami creatures for Deckard to find. What would a band of adventurers do if they found an origami unicorn on the staircase?

6000 Were Captured and Crucified Along the Whole Road from Capua to Rome

The movie Spartacus was one. At the end of the movie, Crassus orders his troops to crucify the six thousand captured slaves along the whole road from Capua to Rome. Only an empire as vast as Rome could handle such an order.

The problem of the logistics of crucifying six thousand is staggering. The Romans believed in order. It would be unthinkable for the troops to run out of captives to crucify. It is also unthinkable for them to have too many captives left when they reach Rome. The order implies the captives are to be equally spaced along the entire way.

According to Google Maps, the distance from Capua to Rome is 118.8 miles. This means they crucified a slave approximately every 105 feet. The Romans did not have Global Positioning Systems. The Romans created itinerarium, which listed all the cities, villages, and stops and the distance between them. Consider the simple problem of determining how far apart to space the captives. The Romans did not use Arabic Numbers. They used Roman Numerals. Someone had to add up all the distances then divide by the number of captives. Someone did the calculation without the aid of an abacus or calculator and using Roman Numerals.

If you need to crucify six thousand captives, you need to cut down six thousand trees. It requires four nails for each captive. Based on historical evidence, the nail went through the heel of the victim. The Romans nailed each foot on opposite sides of the wooden upright. One nail through the left wrist, one through the right wrist, one through the left heel, and one through the right heel. Nails were expensive in the ancient world. We know the Romans recycled the nails between crucifixions. The order required crucifying all six thousand.

A table of organization and equipment defines the organization, staffing, and equipment assigned to a military unit. The organization of legions varied greatly over time. Legions typically had 4,800 soldiers. Each legion had ten cohorts each with 480 soldiers. Each cohorts had 6 centuries of 80 men each. We can assume a century would routinely carry enough nails to handle ten crucifixions. Each legion had sixty centuries. A legion may have routinely had enough nails for six hundred crucifixions. Crassus came to the battle with ten legions. That means Crassus would probably had enough nails on hand only needing the tree trunks, which they could cut down along the way.

Normally crucifixion victim died in a few days. The legions of Crassus needed to take the bodies down in order to collect the valuable nails. The Romans dug pits called puticuli for the dead bodies.

I patterned the Marazzer after the ancient Assyrians in my World of Tiglath campaign. The Assyrians were very cruel compared to the Romans. Ashurnasirpal, one of the rulers of ancient Assyria, says, "In strife and conflict I besieged and conquered the city. I felled 3,000 of their fighting men with the sword. I captured many troops alive. I cut off some of their arms and hands; others I cut off their noses, ears, and extremities. I gouged out the eyes of many troops. I made one pile of the living and another one of heads. I hung their heads on trees around the city."

In the World of Tiglath the Marazzer are cruel like the Assyrians, but organized like the Romans. After the battle on the Plains of Lethe, the commanders of the Marazzer ordered the flaying of five thousand soldiers of Greth as part of a competition. The rules were simple. Your victim had to survive the process of removing all their skin. The victim that lived the longest won the prize.

The Marazzer methodically planned the competition. They executed five thousand soldiers. They promptly tanned the hides of all the victims. They turned the leather into numerous items. The Nazis made lampshades from the skin of human victims. Marazzer made Elf-Skin boots. They have similar magical properties to Elven Boots, but are make from the skins of dead elves.

It's Life, But Not as We Know It

The Internet contains numerous articles about creating an ecology for your dungeon. Creating a dungeon ecology is an interesting thought experiment. A forest has a vibrant ecology. However, a party of adventurers will get bored if all they run into are chipmunks, rabbits, and deer. A dungeon master needs to include something challenging. Players will abandon the campaign if they go through endless descriptions of beautiful forest creatures living in harmony without any conflict.

One solution is making the creatures less benign. For example, the party notices the squirrels stop what they are doing and watch every move the party makes. One of the squirrels scampers up ahead to the next set of trees. You see the squirrel communicating with the next group of squirrels, which start watching the party. The squirrels observe every step the party takes and forwards the information to the next group of squirrels. The forest no longer seems benign. Someone or something with intelligence is watching the party.

A dungeon master can make any environment feel alive. It does not require living creatures. Consider a simple set of empty rooms in a dungeon setting. The party enters the first room. They find nothing. As they enter the second room, the door to the first room loudly slams shut. The party decides to spike the door open. When they enter the third room, the door to the first room slams. The party runs back and sees the door is now spiked shut. Something closed the door.

A cleaver DM keeps the party interested by variety. In the forest, instead of only squirrels the party sees the squirrel run up to a crow. The squirrel seems to communicate with the crow. The crow flies off. In a dungeon, the dungeon master has a variety of options. In the movie The Changeling (1980), one of the scariest scenes is a web rubber ball bouncing down the stairs.

Imagine the reaction of a party of adventurers when they read graffiti on the wall saying, "The lunatic is in the hall". Later as they find more graffiti saying, "The lunatic is in my head". I stole this idea from the lyrics to Brain Damage by Pink Floyd.

Most players do not care if your dungeon ecology is logically consistent. They care if the dungeon is fun and interesting. This is the core of the complaints in the reviews of the Dwimmermount megadungeon.

In addition to making the adventure fun and interesting, you need to provide the opportunity to kill something. I love sessions where none of the players needs to swing a sword. However, experience teaches I need to provide something for the party to kill or some of the players will get bored.

Back in the forest, the party continues down the path. The party sees the squirrels and crows watching their every move. Suddenly, the squirrels pelt the party with acorns. The acorns cause no damage. The party can kill a bunch of squirrels or ignore them. As the party progresses down the path, the squirrels continue their barrage of acorns. The party sees a squire step out on a branch holding an unusual looking acorn. The squire bites the stem off the acorn, then with all its strength throws the acorn. The acorn hits the fighter and explodes causing 1D6 damage.

A squire with an acorn grenade is almost as much fun as a Kobold with a ballista.

Jewelry Puzzle

Carvel pillaged a mage's home. The mage was working on decoding an ancient map to a powerful artifact. They map was made from five pieces of jewelry. The jewelry was only ornate copper with semi-precious stones. Carvel used the jewelry to try to seduce five different women. The pieces of jewelry all had a different number of semi-precious stones. The pieces of jewelry had from one to five semi-precious gemstone.

• A necklace was one of the pieces of jewelry
• Velda did not get the ring
• Tanicha's piece of jewelry had one semi-precious gemstone less than the pendant
• Parvani's piece of jewelry had exactly one semi-precious gemstone less than the amulet but exactly one more than the piece of jewelry with garnets
• Fotina's piece of jewelry had only one semi-precious gemstone
• The bracelet has two semi-precious gemstones
• There are three agate semi-precious gemstones in one piece of jewelry
• Channa's piece of jewelry has four semi-precious gemstones
• There are five semi-precious onyx gemstones in one piece of jewelry
• The piece of jewelry with opals has exactly two more semi-precious gemstones than the one with the amber semi-precious gemstones

For each woman determine the type of jewelry, the type of gemstones, and the number.

Carnivorous Lunar Activities

Six months ago the country of Greth realized Marazzer was going to invade. Greth mobilized for war. The King of Greth, called up ever man or woman between the ages of seventeen and thirty-five able to wield a sword or cast a spell to fight and defend their country.

The forces of Greth assembled on the plains of Lethe to drive the Marazzer back across the sea. The forces of Marazzer slaughtered the armies of Greth. The few survivors of the initial attack became the objects of the Marazzer "skinning game". Marazzer soldiers attempt to remove all the skin from their prisoner. The winner is the soldier who is able to fully skin his victim and have his victim live the longest without their skin. The screams of the survivors carried for miles.

After the slaughter, a troop of Marazzer marched into the town of Appary. They took control of the town. However, unexpected difficulties faced the Marazzer. The soldiers tasked with patrolling and guarding the town at night started to disappear. All they found were bloodstains and torn armor.

Something was slowly killing the Marazzer. The people in the town had a good idea what was causing the disappearance. For years, many in the town knew a family of lycanthropes lived a few miles away. Occasionally, a sheep or cow turn up missing. The town suspected Osmin was the cause. However, Osmin traded with the town, kept to himself, and never harmed any of the inhabitants of the town.

A lycanthrope is a human shape shifter. According to the Monster Manual (fourth Edition), pg. 180, lycanthrope is hereditary. This means lycanthropes are not disease victims. Lycanthropes are carriers of Filth Fever and Moon Frenzy, but not the ability to shape change.

The party of adventurers came to the town of Appary. They convinced Osmin to take out the guards while the party poisoned the rest of the Marazzer soldiers. The plan worked.

Now the town is free of the Marazzer. What would happen if the Marazzer returned? All the able-bodied men and women of the town lie dead on the planes of Lethe. The population of the town are people in their forties and children, usually grandchildren. How can the town defend itself from the Marazzer?

The party came up with an interesting idea. Convince Osmin to spread Lycanthrope to all the townspeople. If lycanthrope is only hereditary then victims of a lycanthrope can get sick and die but not turn into a lycanthrope. If it is easy to transmit lycanthrope then it because a plague. As someone wrote, when a lycanthrope assumes their animal shape they are only interested in the three F's of basic survival: feeding, fighting and ... reproduction.

Imagine an entire town filled with new lycanthropes. Lycanthropes could reproduce two ways. First, they could reproduce sexually. Second, they could reproduce by spreading the disease. Lycanthrope would spread across the world.

In the World of Tiglath, lycanthrope is a disease. When lycanthrope takes on their animal form, they cannot attack to subdue. The lycanthrope does a normal attack. If the victim survives the attack, the victim must then make a fortitude save. Only ten percent of normal non-player characters will survive the fortitude check. That ten percent will become lycanthropes.

Lycanthropes can reproduce sexually. If most common form is a male lycanthrope attacking a non-lycanthrope female. This is a bizarre form of bestiality. Instead of spreading the disease through biting the victim, the male spread the disease sexually. Offspring of this mating have a 50% chance of inheriting the disease.

The less common form is a female lycanthrope having sex with a non-lycanthrope male. In this case, the female lycanthrope usually kills and eats the non-lycanthrope male in a form of sexual cannibalism. The female lycanthrope may kill and eat the male before, during, or after the sexual act.

As part of the bribe to Osmin, the party provided a large quantity of catnip and a keg of ale. Osmin is not a werewolf. Osmin is a werepanther a sub-species of werejaguar. The primary effect of catnip causes a hallucinogenic effect on cats. A secondary effect of catnip is as an aphrodisiac.

Imagine a slightly drunk werepanther tripping on catnip and "looking for love".